HIGH STEAKS | New Diorama Theatre

© ELOINA

Just after ELOINA's HIGH STEAKS, the other night, I had my first conversation about labia. Two days later, I had my second one. As far as proving the power of this show goes, I cannot think of a better way. 

Believe me, it's not for a lack of trying. Last night, while videocalling one of my best friends in another country, I was trying to describe HIGH STEAKS to her. I was painfully aware of a strident clash between my factual recollection of the evening, and the way it made me feel. The factual recollection presented the following points:

1) The performer, ELOINA, came out with an accordion hung over her neck, covering the front of her body. The accordion made music as she moved. Pieces of steaks were hung from the ceiling in pairs with strings and pegs. 

2) ELOINA then removed the accordion. When she put the instrument down, we saw strings taped to her belly, which were attached to another pair of steaks, peeking out from a bush of salad covering her vulva. She sat on a stool in front of a table, with a circular mirror in front of her vulva. 

3) She then removed the mirror, exposing her vulva and labia, and explained this was our safe space to look. She clarified that was her safe space too, urging us "not to be weird". She said "for some of you, this might be the first time you see a vulva". She looked around the room, then a smirk appeared on her face. "You're welcome", she added.

4) A significant segment of the show involved her mother, Annie. "You mean that she was talking about her mother?" my friend asked. Nope, her mother was in the show, I replied. "And what did she do?". 

5) Throughout the show, ELOINA pounded the steaks that were originally hanging between her legs; cut them in pieces of various shapes and sizes; and cooked them on a portable grill. She also prepared a salad with the green bush initially covering her vulva, adding seasoning she crushed and prepped herself. Annie helped her in these final stages, setting the table with her - a white tablecloth, a candlestick, a plate, a fork, and a framed picture of Grandmother Eloina.

6) Hand-in-hand with the visual narrative of the show, an auditive one unfolded. Woven into the show, were recordings of people, including ELOINA herself, talking about their relationship with their vulva and labia. Many of these involved shame, pain, and insecurity, and were discussed in relation with the desire of having a surgical procedure called labiaplasty - a surgery to reduce the size of the labia minora.

Here it is - a list of things that happened. Also, a completely misleading description of what was actually going on, and a failure to convey my experience in words. HIGH STEAKS, I realised, is much more than the sum of its parts; the elements composing it cannot be separated from how I felt in the room in those moments. I can't talk about the hanging pieces of steaks without explaining how evocative that metaphor was in that space, and how it made me feel both uncomfortable and seen; how the vision of raw flesh that I see every day at the supermarket had the power to make me feel, in that context, much more exposed than when I was looking at another person's labia. 

I can't mention Annie's involvement in the show without adding that the mother-daughter relationship underscoring the whole performance was wholesome, and moving, and positively soaked in a freedom and understanding that exceed any daughter or mother's wildest dreams. There was an important point being made about how shame comes about, and how comments from relatives, partners, and peers can gradually erode our confidence in our bodies.

I can't describe anything that ELOINA has done throughout those 75 minutes, without saying that her performance was the perfect balance of ironic, fierce, angry, proud, but most of all - incredibly generous. That generosity, to me, was the soul of the show, which might just be one of the most altruistic acts of radical love shared between an artist and their audience. We received that trust from the people talking in the recordings as well, who decided to be sincere and authentic to give us the chance to freely hear about subjects that are usually not addressed. 

Adding to the precious informative value of this show, I can't say that ELOINA talked about figures and statistics surrounding the percentage of people having labiaplasty for medical or aesthetic reasons, without mentioning how she did it: transparently, authoritatively, without a smidge of judgement. I can't mention that she asked a member of the audience to draw her vulva, without saying how enthusiastically a very young woman stood up to meet the challenge, her face filled with tears, finishing in half the time allocated to her. 

Ultimately, I can't say I loved HIGH STEAKS without trying to convey how responsible I felt while participating, as part of a room that became - at least for a night - a community. How I was equipped to look after my wellbeing, ELOINA's safety, and the other audience members' comfort. How aware I was of an equilibrium being reached between all of us; a facilitated, fragile, invaluable, invisible duty of care policy we all signed and followed.

Coming back to my first point, then, how to make justice to a show that can't be pitched or described in any way? To me, by bringing that responsibility of safeguarding with me into the world, by building community with an enhanced willingness to care. 

And also: by having lots of conversations about labia. (With whoever feels comfortable to have those with me). 

© Greta Rilletti Zaltieri, 2024

HIGH STEAKS is about to tour in Manchester, Brighton, and Bristol! You really don't want to miss it: https://www.eloina.art/upcoming-shows.